Aries 21st March - 19th April
Early to bed and early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise. However, you will miss out on a lot of fun. Try having vegetable soup for supper.
Lucky Architecture: Elizabethan
Taurus 20th April - 21st May
He who laughs last has the last laugh. Try having roast beef and Yorkshire puddings for a snack between meals.
Lucky Composer: Handel
Gemini 22nd May - 21st June
It's better to give than to receive. Except perhaps syphilis. Try having kippers for supper.
Lucky Philosopher: Kant
Cancer 22nd June - 23rd July
Remember that a bad workman always blames his tools. And a bad Gigolo just blames his tool. Try having roast duck for a snack between meals.
Lucky Poet: McGonagall
Leo 24th July - 23rd August
Two heads are better than one. Especially if you're looking for a job in the circus. Try having curry for supper.
Lucky Epoch: Paleocene
Virgo 24th August - 23rd September
You will be excited by a small lump of cheese today. Try having cheese on toast for a mid-morning snack.
Lucky Philosopher: Rabelais
Libra 24th September - 23rd October
You will read some words printed on paper. Try having curry for brunch.
Lucky Note: Semiquaver
Scorpio 24th October - 22nd November
Your blood will boil, your brain will putrify, ooze from your nose and your skin will erupt in festering pustules. Take a couple of Aspirin and go to bed early. Try having gammon and pineapple for lunch.
Lucky Composer: Tchaikovsky
Sagittarius 23rd November - 21st December
A stitch in time saves nine. However, it doesn't mend a rip in the space time continuum. Try having cheese on toast for lunch.
Lucky Mollusc: Winkle
Capricorn 22nd December - 20th January
As the proverb goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. So make sure you're getting a portion a day. Try having egg and chips for supper.
Lucky Composer: Bach
Aquarius 21st January - 19th February
Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. Try having curry for a snack between meals.
Lucky Architecture: Byzantine
Pisces 20th February - 20th March
Eat some food for dinner today. Try having pork pies for afternoon tea.
Lucky Cloud: Contrail