Aries 21st March - 19th April
A stitch in time saves nine. However, it doesn't mend a rip in the space time continuum. Try having cottage pie for elevenses.
Lucky Hairstyle: Curly Perm
Taurus 20th April - 21st May
As the proverb goes, an apple a day keeps the doctor away. So make sure you're getting a portion a day. Try having kippers for breakfast.
Lucky Organ: Eyes
Gemini 22nd May - 21st June
Don't believe everything you read on the Internet. Try having Welsh rarebit for tea.
Lucky Note: Hemidemisemiquaver
Cancer 22nd June - 23rd July
Eat some food for dinner today. Try having Lancashire hotpot for a light snack.
Lucky Artist: Klee
Leo 24th July - 23rd August
Home is where the heart is. You need to be more careful with your organs. Try having tomato soup for a late evening snack.
Lucky Note: Minim
Virgo 24th August - 23rd September
It's no use crying over spilt milk, that'll just water it down Try having spam for a mid-morning snack.
Lucky Period: Permian
Libra 24th September - 23rd October
That 'silent but deadly' you let go this morning will fortuitously avert an alien invasion. Try having spaghetti bolognaise for brunch.
Lucky Bone: Rib (13th)
Scorpio 24th October - 22nd November
Two's company; three's a crowd; four's an orgy. Try having cucumber sandwiches for afternoon tea.
Lucky Facial Hair: Sideburns
Sagittarius 23rd November - 21st December
You will catch bird flu after sharing a cup of tea with your pet emu. Try having a cheeseburger for breakfast.
Lucky Cheese: Tilsit
Capricorn 22nd December - 20th January
You will say hello to someone with hair. Try having beans on toast for a mid-morning snack.
Lucky Author: Zola
Aquarius 21st January - 19th February
Your spaceship will crash on an Earth type planet ruled by English speaking chimpazees, gorillas and orang utans. Try having a cheeseburger for a mid-afternoon snack.
Lucky Bird: Bearded Tit
Pisces 20th February - 20th March
A watched pot never boils. Smoke it instead. Try having toad-in-the-hole for elevenses.
Lucky Artist: Chagall